Today I feel that I need to write a letter to you. You have to know where my heart is and how you've changed my life.
You see, I have never been a big fan of the Fourth of July. I wasn't into fireworks, I hate the traffic after the 10 min show, I preferred to just lay low. And the date took and even further turn for the worse on July 4, 2007. Our family was in shambles, Nana and Grandpa were in the midst of divorce, Uncle Nate was deep into his addiction and I was trying to keep everyone on even ground. But there was a little bright light that not everyone knew. Mommy was pregnant!! After 3 long years of fertility treatments, this was amazing news and Daddy and I were so excited!
I woke up that morning feeling a little cramping but I wasn't too concerned. All the books said this was normal. Daddy was golfing and Nana came over because her and I were going shopping. When she walked in the door, she told me that Uncle Nate was just arrested. I was devastated to say the least. But I did have a little sense of relief. Knowing he was going to jail and would be off the streets was actually a blessing in disguise.
About 20 minutes later, I felt like I had a belly ache and decided to go to the bathroom. What happened next was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I won't go into details, but our sweet little baby went to heaven that day. I literally laid in bed for days crying and crying. For our family, for our loss, for Uncle Nate, for life. I wanted nothing to do with this holiday ever again.
Of course, our family shook of the bad karma and things got better. Uncle Nate got sober, Mommy and Daddy tried to have another baby. Things were definitely better. The one year anniversary I stayed home and moped all day. Ugh.
Even after you got home from China, I still bought you super cute clothes but we didn't even go to fireworks. I played it off as you would hate them because of the noise.
Fast forward to July 4, 2013. You are SO INTO America!! You love flags, calling them Miracle Flags! You love fireworks! You love everything about this. I started thinking this week that maybe I would take you downtown Toledo for fireworks. Daddy had to work nights, but I could take one for the team, right?
I mentioned it to Nana and her and Jojo wanted to go. Daddy decided to take a vacation day. This was lining up to be a little party. The office where I work allows you to come down to the grounds. We decided to go down early and packed a picnic dinner.
We played corn hole!
We ate lots of licorice!
We caught lightening bugs!
And then we snuggled up to get ready for fireworks!
And Toledo put on a great show!!!
Ava -- Thank you for showing me the joy in this holiday again! You have no idea how grateful I am for you and joy you bring to my life. You are amazing, girl!!
I love you!!
Mama
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